Keeping Up With The Carbashians

Despite the current sensitivities of today’s society, I have found that people feel VEERRRYYY comfortable commenting on my weight. A typical conversation goes something like this:

Random Stranger: “Girl, you are so skinny! You must have good genes.”

Me: “Yeah, I think these are from Gap.”

I think that I respond this way because in a past life, I was a 40-year-old father who loved the functionality of cargo shorts. But really, people want to know what my “secret” is and today you are in luck! I have found throughout my life that the easiest way to maintain a relatively normal physique is…TO BE DIRT POOR!

I know what you are thinking Stacey, “iT’s AcTuAlLy ChEaPeR tO bUy FaSt-FoOd VeRsUs HeAlThIeR fOoD oPtIoNs FrOm ThE gRoCeRy StOrE.”  If that’s how your mind works, then you aren’t poor enough. Let me enlighten you with a little tale from my childhood…

When I was about 7ish, my mom took me and my brother to run errands in Memphis all day.  It was approaching dinner time and we were famished!  While a “normal” family would have stopped somewhere like Chik-Fil-A, the poors go to McDonalds or Taco Bell (my favorite). Unfortunately for me and my brother, our mom did not have any money. I mean literally zero dollars and zero cents in her wallet/cup holder. So, being the resourceful woman that she was (is) she made us get out of the car so that we could look under all the seats and mats and on the ground in the parking lot. By the grace of God, we were able to scrounge up about 95 cents.  We felt like champions!!! With this new windfall, we were able to buy one bean burrito and a cup of water to split between us three and let me tell you, I have never had a better bite of any food since.

So how has this impacted my life nowadays? Well now that I have a normal income, I always allow myself TWO Taco Bell items (off the dollar menu of course.) But seriously, the best lesson here was probably missed by most readers. If you want to raise a perfectly alright child and help them establish good eating habits for the rest of their lives, make them order water! Water is free and actually really really good for you! Who knew?!?!